I may chat about my books, what I'm writing or reading, or just general thoughts. You may read posts about my cats or just my crazy life in general. Comments are welcome, if anyone wants to interact with me. Maybe we can share war stories, whether it's writing related or just about life in general.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Email delivers jokes and some odd news



Sometimes opening email can be a blast.  I find, stuck among all the important email, some jokes and odd news sometimes.  I enjoy weird news, or things that make me smile.  You may have seen this before, but it’s still funny, so true, and worth another look.


DOG DIARY

8:00 am – Dog food!  My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride!  My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park!  My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted!  My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch!  My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard!  My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail!  My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones!  My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball!  My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow!  Watched TV with my people!  My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed!  My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.  The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

Cretons!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.   I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of allergies.  I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow – but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe…

For now…
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22 comments:

  1. UnknownApril 6, 2015 at 6:33 AM

    Love the diaries! Hilarious.

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    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 1:37 PM

      Thanks Melanie. I think they are a true reflection of cat and dog personalities.

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Sunni

      Delete
  2. ErraticElleApril 6, 2015 at 10:22 AM

    Yup. These are spot on. Though I have a couple of older pups who have mellowed substantially...one of whom refuses to leave the bed before noon...and my cats are oddly companionistic. They're far too friendly for cats (at least with me). I suspect that at least one of them thinks of himself as a dog...or maybe even a person as he loves to open doors and flush toilets. Elle @ Erratic Project Junkie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 1:41 PM

      Elle,

      I've heard of cats flushing toilets. I wonder if you could potty train them to use the toilet. Cats are smarter than we give them credit for.

      I think my youngest thinks he's a dog sometimes,

      Sunni

      Delete
  3. Thea O'BrianApril 6, 2015 at 3:47 PM

    You made me smile Sunni.
    http://enchantedfantasies.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 4:35 PM

      Thea,

      Well isn't this pretty accurate?

      Sunni

      Delete
  4. pilch92April 6, 2015 at 4:16 PM

    I love the cat's diary- I wonder if that is what they think :)

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    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 4:37 PM

      Thanks for visiting pilch92. It does make you wonder what goes on in their minds. The cat diary sounds accurate to me. LOL

      Sunni

      Delete
  5. StrayerApril 6, 2015 at 5:05 PM

    Dogs are so eager and easily pleased, compared to cats I suppose, although mine love life and are very affectionate. Some here would write such a diary or worse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 10:11 PM

      Strayer,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. My cats are affectionate - but when it's their idea. :-)

      Sunni

      Delete
  6. JustlittlecajunmeApril 6, 2015 at 6:49 PM

    This is so funny and likely true.

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    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 10:13 PM

      Lisa,

      Thanks for reading. I cracked up when I read this and had to post it for my E letter. I think it's true for most dogs and cats. There are always exceptions to the rule.

      Sunni

      Delete
  7. Stitching NoniApril 6, 2015 at 7:02 PM

    Thank you for visiting my blog during the challenge:o)
    I love your email joke! Cats are just the best...
    Hugs xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 10:14 PM

      Stitching,

      Thanks for visiting me back. I LOVE cats, but then you could probably tell that.

      Sunni

      Delete
  8. UnknownApril 6, 2015 at 9:39 PM

    There is a pet food site with great videos similar in tone to the Dog vs. Cat perspective. I love watching them, but also get my animal humor from watching my 6 lb, 11 year old, gray, fierce kitty stands, her ground while my 120 lb, 2 year old, mastiff tries to give the kitty balls, kongs, rawrides and other invitations to play. Like your desert posts too! I'm A to Zing my way around new to me blogs. I'm #793 on the list.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 10:19 PM

      Nancy,

      I'm doing the same - stopping at blogs I don't know each day. I've got a small cat too, but she's fierce and not afraid of anything. Maybe that attitude makes up for her size. I wish you would have posted the pet food site. I'd like to check it out.

      Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'll stop by yours.

      Sunni

      Delete
  9. Rebecca J. ClarkApril 6, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    Ha ha. So very true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SunniApril 6, 2015 at 11:13 PM

      Rebecca,

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Sunni

      Delete
  10. UnknownApril 6, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    I am trying to remember the Pet Food company.... Found one of the videos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yNSF7ljOoU Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pawesome CatsApril 7, 2015 at 1:49 AM

    Haha - we've seen that before and it always makes us smile too! PS. Your cat's are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SunniApril 7, 2015 at 3:14 PM

      Thanks Pawesome cats for visiting and leaving a comment. And thanks on the cats. They are pretty special.

      Sunni

      Delete

Thank you for stopping by to read and
comment on my posts. I appreciate it.
Sunni

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