Family

Visits aren’t just about seeing old people.  It’s also very much about family.  I didn’t realize I was so hungry to visit family and get caught up with everyone.  Time flies so fast and the little ones I knew are now grown up. 

This is my brother-in-law with his Texas barbecue pit

The family barbecue was so nice.  My brother-in-law is the best barbecue man in the world but this was also a time for family and the main reason for the barbecue was my great niece who was turning one on the 25th of May.  Of course she had no concept the celebration was for her birthday. 

 Here is my sister, Bonni, and Mama enjoying the festivities

 

Tables were set up in the barn with giant fans to keep us comfortable.  The humidity was never a problem the whole time I was in Texas.  The only humidity we had was the morning of the barbecue because it rained.  As anyone from the south knows, when it rains and then stops, the ground steams.  But it was still doable.  I think a great time was had by all.  

 The reason for the barbecue was my great niece turning a year old.  This is her with the proud parents.  I hope they won't kill me for posting this pic, but I think it's adorable

 

 I have no pictures of the food table but it was loaded with everything you can imagine would be on a barbecue table.  There were giant roasters (like you’d use for Thanksgiving) to keep everything warm.  There was more meat than I can even describe because when my brother-in-law barbecues it’s an all-night affair with him staying up all night to attend the pit of assorted meat. 

This is four generations - my niece, Jodi - my sister, Scherri, holding her granddaughter, Abbie, and Mama

Everyone else brought side dishes, which included ranch potatoes, beans, bread, onions, barbecue sauce, pickles, etc and there was a whole table of just homemade desserts.  Who can resist all that?

 This is four generations again with Abbie's other grandmother in the background

 

I rarely eat anything like this so it was a treat indeed.  I had great company besides so it was a great day.  The guests played horseshoes and other southern sports after the barbecue while others of us had a nice visit.  Of course we went and got Mama so she could participate in all the festivities.  I think the family outings do her good.

A good time was had by all.  I took it all in because I know I won’t be participating in anything like this anytime again soon.  This just isn’t a happening in my everyday life.

 This is my niece, Reesa, and her two kids, Rae and Riley.  It astounds me that my nieces are such good parents.  These kids have great manners.  That's something you don't see often these days.

 

It was so good to catch up with nieces and their kids who are growing up and to see everyone again.  And it’s the first time I’ve met my great niece, who will probably be in first grade by the time I get back for a visit. 

Mama was tired afterward and more then ready to get back to the nursing home.  We all took home leftovers.  My sister, Tedo, and my nephew-in-law, Chris, are helping her in the car while my sister, Bonni, is holding the leftovers.

 

 

Entertainment isn’t just for young people

As I mentioned before, they keep everyone busy with activities at the nursing home, although no one is required to go to anything if they don’t want to.  The staff makes things available only, but leaves it up to each resident.  They want the people staying there to feel at home and in control of their lives.  This is probably the right way to run things.

There’s a full schedule every month with about four things happening each day that residents can take advantage of.  Some people prefer to have coffee and cookies in the afternoon where they can visit in the dining room instead of go to events, or to sit outside if it’s nice.

These two ladies are two of Mama's best friends.

This is Selma.  She's 102

 This one blows kisses and is man crazy.

 

Mama’s friends are characters.  These women carry on a conversation with each other and they can say the same things over and over and no one knows the difference.  They’re simply enjoying each other’s company, so I guess you can’t ask for any better than that.  Almost everyone knows each other because the facility is so small.

 This is the man who entertained us with guitar music

 

One afternoon we were all treated to some guitar music played by one of the residents.  I don’t know this fellows name, but he was very good and played some toe-tapping songs until it was time for dinner.  I was told he does this every week or so.  I was glad to see it.  I don’t think anyone should give up what they love to do just because they’re getting old.

I’m so glad a few of these people have family to visit them.  I really feel bad for the others and think how lonely they must be, but I guess you have to make the best of things if you wind up in that spot.

One gentleman ate alone in there and sat in front of the TV all evening.  I was told his wife had recently passed away.  He must not have any other family because no one came to visit him the whole time I was there.

                                                    This is the facility my mother stays in.

My sisters and I did pitch in and try to help with the residents when they were trying to maneuver from their walkers to chairs, etc.  And we went and got the nurse, or dietician, for them if they wanted something we couldn’t get for them.  Hanging out with these people is a different experience.  A lot of them had a hard time speaking, so it was a guessing game as to what they wanted to say.

I’m so glad I was able to visit Mama, meet her friends and see her new home.

One of many visits to the nursing home

The second day I was there we headed to the nursing home to see our mother.  It was too late the first day once we got back to town from the airport. 

So I wondered if my mother would remember me because much can happen in five years, especially for one who’s losing her mind.  We were lucky enough to persuade my youngest brother to meet us there for a few minutes, so Mama was about to be very surprised with four of her seven kids visiting her.

 Part of the family.  Standing from left: me, my youngest brother, Alden, two of my sisters, Bonni and Tedo.  My mother is seated.

When we arrived she was in therapy.  The nurses helped her with her walker as they saw us all standing there waiting for her.  She had a big smile on her face as she looked at us.  At first she thought that I was Tedo, but then realized with Tedo asking her “who’s your oldest daughter?”  Her smile got bigger and she came over and hugged me tight.  I was as happy as she was.  She remembered me the rest of the time I was there.  We went to see her almost every day and stayed a good part of the day and sometimes into the evening.  We did take her out twice for family gatherings, Mother’s Day and the family barbecue mentioned earlier.  More on that later.

                                                         This is the facility dining room

The nursing home my mother is in is a very small one with lots of help and they’re all so nice.  The kitchen help came out to talk to us, as well as the administrator and the housekeepers and, of course, the nurses in each hall.  There are three wings in the building, but it’s only about fifty eight beds.  The place is very clean.  And Mama has made friends there and seems to like it very much.  There were a few times, of course, that she wanted to go with us as we were getting ready to leave.  That was expected, but she has a very nice room with family photos on the wall.  And she’s by a window where my sisters placed a bird feeder outside, so she can watch the birds if she wants to.

                                                       This is the wing Mama's room is on.

 This is my mother's bedroom

Most of the time is spent in the dining room though where they hold some of the activities and the social time.  A TV is there also for anyone wanting to watch television.  There’s a separate room for activities in the facility as well.  It includes a small library for all the readers and a hair salon.

It seems Mama is a wiz at bingo and has all the stuffed animals; they hand out as gifts to the winners, on a small bookshelf in her room.

 Here are Mama's bingo prizes

The place is very nice and not like any nursing home any of you are thinking of.  I’m grateful for that.

Why are vacations too short?

The time always flies by so fast and then before you know it, it’s time to get on the plane and fly home.  I really wish they lasted longer, but of course we always have other commitments, like work, to return to.

One of my sisters picked me up from the airport.  She’s adventurous and can tackle all the Houston traffic, which none of my other siblings can do except for one of my brothers.  Tedo, our nickname for her, can always find the time to do everything that needs doing too.  I really admire that about her.

She had taken lots of time off her work at the nursery so we could have some good sister time, along with family time.  She said just what I wanted to hear, “there are no schedules while you’re here.”  Yeah.  I love those words.  I hate being a clock watcher and swear one day, if I ever do retire, the alarm clock is going out the window.

I’m glad she took all that time off, although I wasn’t expecting it because I know the bills keep coming whether you’re working or not.  But she does work two jobs and probably needed a vacation too.  She did go to her second job while I was there, which is working as a food demonstrator at Costco, like I do.  In fact, I helped her get his second job last November because they cut hours at the plant nursery in the fall and winter months.  Now she only works one day a week at Costco, but that will change when fall comes.  One thing I can say is that this job is very flexible.

 Here's my sister, Tedo, at her booth at Costco

 

Her boss was a demonstrator at our store before he took the management position in Texas.  He was really over qualified to hand out food samples and did a lot of the road shows and such until this position became available.  I knew he would hire her because she’s a great worker and dedicated to doing a good job.

Here's me at my booth in Costco in my store a year ago

So, believe it or not, I actually packed my penguin sit, apron and hat, etc because I was hoping to go to work with her on the days she worked.  With our job, you can easily transfer from store to store, but her boss is still too new to the job to make any waves.  So I wasn’t able to work after all.  As a result, I walked around her store during her shift and visited all the other employees, took lots of pictures and looked at all the products for sale, some of which we don’t have because it’s a different region.  We were still able to have lunch and a break together.

She wants to come and visit me next year and is hoping to work in our store while she’s here.  I know my boss would be all for it in a minute, so I hope by then her boss has his feet wet and is able to click the two keys on his computer to make it happen.

I know Tedo will be in for an awakening though because our store is a lot busier and our customers aren’t as nice as the ones in her store.  But I warned her about this already.

More adventures are coming in the next post with more pictures.

I’m back!

Sorry to have neglected this blog so long.  I was away visiting family out of state and am back home now.  Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to post before this because I had to recuperate.  (You don’t know my family).  It’s always non-stop action with no schedule, which I love, but such things can wear you out.  I was living out of a suitcase, until my sister suggested I just take things around in a shopping bag when I changed sibling’s houses.  This worked out very well, but she’s a lot smarter about this type of thing, plus she has an endless supply of cute, reusable shopping bags in all sizes.

When I got home I went to bed and slept fifteen hours.  I was exhausted and since then I’m back at work almost every day.

 This is my sweet mother

The object of my visit was to see family and my mother who is now in a nursing home.  She suffers from dementia.  I couldn’t put off my trip any longer.  It had been almost five years and a lot can happen in that span of time.  But I was prepared for the worst of scenarios when my mother saw me.  Of course she didn’t recognize me at first.  I look a lot like one of my sisters who is her caretaker.  But she did remember me after a few minutes.  She had a big smile and gave me a big hug.  Bless her heart.  She didn’t have trouble remembering me the rest of the trip.  It was very hard to kiss her on the cheek and tell her goodbye when I knew I was flying home the next day.

I think I was able to visit almost everyone during that fast two weeks.  I even got to meet my new great niece who was celebrating her first birthday party in style with a good old fashioned Texas barbecue.  No one can make barbecue like Texans.  My brother in law (and the birthday girl’s grandfather) stayed up all night cooking brisket, sausage, pork and chicken on the pit.  Naturally, there were baked beans and country potatoes and lots of other trimmings, not to mention all the homemade desserts.  Somehow I came back from that trip weighing the same amount as when I left, thank goodness.

I’ll write more about some of my visit soon.  I took 455 pictures and we had many adventures.  Of course a lot of talking and laughter happened all the time.  There’s no better medicine than that.

Reflections on the A to Z Blogging Challenge and other news

I did participate in this year’s challenge although there were times that I wondered if I’d finish.  I wasn’t able to write any posts ahead this year due to my work schedule, so I winged it pretty much and usually wrote them the night before. 

Also due to time restraints and no linky list this year, I didn’t get to visit many blogs.  I really wanted to and probably would have if we had the list.  It just makes people easier to find on the World Wide Web.  But I know why the moderators changed that this year.  They almost had to because there’s really no way to monitor a list that size on a daily basis to make sure everyone’s posting.  This is too bad and unfortunate.

I’ll look up some past blogs when I get a chance and see if they participated this year.  Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so busy all the time.  This would be a lot easier to do.

On another note, I’ll be leaving to visit family out of state this coming Tuesday.  I may not be able to get on the internet much while I’m gone.  I have to take that day-by-day.  Usually family can run you ragged with all the people to see and places to go as the days quickly tick by.  It’s been almost five years since I’ve been home, so it’s time.  Everyone is growing up and Mama is now living in a nursing home.  Her dementia is getting worse.  I’m sure seeing her will be a shock, but I have to do this before much more time goes by.  None of us are getting any younger.  I just hope she still remembers me.  May’s a good month to go because she just had her 86^th birthday.  I missed that but will be there for Mother’s Day.

I can’t wait to see my family and haven’t slept well in over a week now.  My brain is working overtime and my nerves are on edge.  This is mostly due to the fact I have to fly to get there.  This isn’t something I enjoy doing at all.  My ears are ill-equipped to handle the altitude.  I’ll be lucky if I can make it there and back without getting dizzy and sick.  My fingers are crossed.  I’m thankful I could get a nonstop flight at least.  That may help.

I should have new stories to tell and pictures to post when I return.  Stay tuned.