Pondering at night

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I always seem to ponder or become philosophical about things in life, as I lie awake at night listening to my husband sleep.  Insomnia is a big issue for me, or perhaps this is my only quiet thinking time.

You would never believe the things that go through my head, usually stemming from some recent news or event, gathering momentum to reach out from there to other people and things like the tentacles of an octopus unfurling and stretching.

I should really get up and write some of this stuff down but I’m trying to sleep.

Sometimes I wonder how my family can be so different from each other in their thoughts, beliefs and expectations in life when we all grew up in the same house under the same conditions.  I won’t go into any particular situation regarding this, but it really makes me think and wonder where attitudes come from.

I always thought the adult that you become forms in the early years of your life, but now, I’m not so sure about that.  I think everyone’s life experiences also play a big role.  We have to face the fact that certain people have an influence on us in a big way.  It’s not only people we meet in the course of our lives, but also places we’ve visited or lived, adventures we were daring enough to try or not, different philosophies and outlooks presented to us by people or books we’ve read.  Even certain movies can have an impact.

We all have choices as well and the choices put us into situations that may change the outcome of our lives later down the road, whether this happens literally, or in the way that we think and view things yet to come.

As I said, once we reach adulthood we all make life choices. Every choice affects the outcome of our lives as human beings.  I’m not just pondering spiritual choices or lack there of, but other things as well, such as diet, exercise, associations with people we view as friends or foes, and family.  Even books we read have an influence.  If only on a subconscious level, they plant seeds in our brains to make us think and learn.  All of these things, plus many more, has an effect on us in either a positive or a negative way.  Sometimes these choices can cause lifelong affects, such as illness or lives of crime if we associate with the wrong people.  It’s important to be wise before we leap.

We all have the ability to be independent or dependent, positive or negative, gung-ho or passive about things facing us.  I’m sure we all wish we had a crystal ball too, so that we could view the future.  That would certainly help us make the right decisions today.

But as humans, we all have to do the best we can with the info we have at the time.  Every experience is a learning one, if we only pay attention to the lesson there for us to see.

Being the writer I am, sometimes I try to work out issues between my characters instead of sleeping, but usually my mind delves into life’s bigger matters as the hours tick by on the clock.  I don’t know why.  Do any of you ever do this?